Dating sites economics and selection
For hundreds of millions of people worldwide, love and dating are a major part of their lives. No matter where you are from, the language you speak, or your dating marketplace is a social game that you must enter to find a partner for the next few months or the rest of your life. Although we are now in the 21st century and single people are more common than ever before, most single adults still have to deal with the expectation to find a partner and become romantically involved with someone as soon as their last relationship is over.
This expectation comes from society, friends, and family members, but individuals can also place it on themselves. But the dating scene has transformed into a new type of animal, and it is called the sexual marketplace. It is named so because of what people are looking for versus what is out there; the demand of what people what vs. the supply.
Traditional dating
First, let's start with real-life dates and meetups. Before the invention of the internet, people met each other the old-fashioned way; by reaching out into their social circle and connecting with the friends of friends or the relatives of their friends, by taking out their work environment and sparkling office romances, finding love in high school or higher education and bars, on the street, at parties or other random public encounters. Although people still meet their partners this way even now, it is not as common anymore. Online dating and dating apps are now the most common way to find someone to develop a relationship or connect for one night and have a brief fling.
When it comes to discovering a partner using traditional means, you are much more likely to meet someone similar to you culturally, economically, or racially. If your friend and family enjoy a certain lifestyle, chances are your partner will enjoy that lifestyle too. The upside to traditional dating is that people you trust and care about have already vetted the person they're going to set you up with.
If your co-worker sets you up with one of their family members, you already know that co-worker approves of them and knows of their background. If your friend is setting you up with one of their friends, you can bond over the topic of your mutual friend as you go out on that date if you run out of topics to discuss.
But the downside of traditional dating is that your options are limited. Your co-worker runs out of family members, and your friends run out of other friends, no one at your job is available, and, after you graduate from school, you will drop any friends that you were not that attached to.
Online dating
When it comes to online dating, the world is your oyster. There are thousands and thousands of eligible men and women that are only a click away. All a person needs to do is send a witty message and wait for their reply. If you run out of options in your city, then just click on another city and start scrolling.
However, the only downside to this is that you have no one vetting the man or woman that you're talking to. Their entire dating profile could be a lie, and you would never know. This is why catfishing is such a major problem online. Speaking of online dating, let's talk about just how many dating sites and apps there are.
The rise of dating sites and apps
There seems to be a specific dating site for any type of person and any interest. Are you an experienced mountain climber who wants to fall in love with someone at base camp 1? There is a dating site that you! What about but what if you nurse by day and a leather-clad kinkster by night? You are just one click away from finding the sub of your dreams! All you need to do to find more than a hundred different dating sites is simply type the word dating site into Google or another search engine. You will see pages and pages of dating sites, all wanting you to sign up and meet the person of your dreams.
But are all of these specialty dating sites really what they seem? How in the world do they make money to stay online? Well, here's the real answer:
Most of the dating apps and sites are owned by a handful of parent companies.
Yes, that's right. A handful of small companies own the vast majority of dating sites and dating apps. This is one of the reasons why they can stay in business. If a company owns several small companies that all kind of cater to the same demographic, they never lose their customers. These companies can simply transfer the data they gathered from users on their app to the dating site they migrate to next.
If each of these dating apps had to stand on their own and generate money through their own sites, they would not likely last. But since they are part of a larger web of dating sites, profit is easier to sustain.
Many people who use dating sites will only use the free version. So, if they use the free version, then how does the dating app or site make money? The exact same way Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube make money from their free users. They make money from ads displayed on their website. They collect all the data you have placed on your profile, phone, computer cookies, and browsing history and sell it to marketing firms.
Just remember, if you are not buying their service to use it, you are the product of a different service. So, the parent companies package the data according to what their buyer wants and then sell all of the data to other companies who want to know more about the demographic of people who are actively dating or searching for a partner.
But that does not mean that if a person buys the advanced or elite service of a dating site or app, their data does not get sold. Every user's data is sold, whether they are using a subscription or service or not. If you don't believe me, inspect the terms and services of the dating service you are using. The fee you pay only allows you to use the software service.
But why are we talking about user data in an article about the dating marketplace? Every user on any site, not just dating sites, has to monitor what they are putting out on the internet.
Are we as open-minded as we think?
With dozens and dozens of dating sites and apps connecting us to millions of eligible people, how likely is a person to venture out into the great wide dating wilderness and date anyone who sparks their interest? Many of us would like to say that we would happily accept love whenever our romantic journey may lead us, but studies have shown repeatedly that that is not true. While people may say that they like the new and exciting, when it comes down to finding someone to connect and build a bond with, people look for commonalities in their romantic partner.
These common characteristics can be income, background, education, culture, or social circles. It's the same reason why you don't find lawyers hanging out with construction workers and a group of teenage boys hanging out with 75-year-old ladies. We simply have more in common with people in our own social circles, so it is easier to talk to them and get to know them.
When two people have something in common, it is much easier to relate to them, and a friendship or romantic partnership is easier to establish. However, connection and relatability are not the only reasons why people end up with people who are similar to themselves. For a number of people, one thing that can prevent them from meeting different people of their race. Some people do not feel comfortable dating outside of their own race or exclude an entire race of people from friendships and romantic partnerships.
Now, does this mean that people who don't want to date outside of their race or don't want to date a certain race of people are racist? Well, that's a good question. It is still being debated if not dating a certain race or ethnicity is racist, as you cannot make anyone date someone they don't want to or be attracted to someone they're not attracted to. But do they understand why they're not attracted to certain races? That requires introspection, and introspection is not an activity many people engage in. Also, depending on our gender and income, you're actually less likely to date out of your race.
One study concluded that men were more likely to date outside of their ethnicity and race, while women were less likely. Those who made a lot of money we're open to dating outside of their race. But people who made less money were not as open to doing so. But does this mean that people with more money have more opportunities to meet different races of people, and so that is why they are open to dating them? That is another good question. Unfortunately, it is not a question that we can answer right now in this article.
Casual encounters vs. Relationships
Depending on the type of relationship you were looking for, it may take you a single night to find it or take you several months. If you are looking for a friend with benefits or a one-night stand, you should find your first partner within no time at all. Although it is not good to realize, most people will have a one-night stand with someone that they would not be caught dead dating.
A casual hookup is meant to be for the night or perhaps for the weekend. It usually does not last longer than that unless both parties have an instant connection and make their feelings known to one another before the encounter ends. If the casual encounter goes well, perhaps each person is open to continuing a causal relationship with each other.
However, if you're looking for a person to share your life with, don't expect to be successful on the first night you go out and find that special person. Those looking for sexual encounters are much more likely to find what they are looking for than those who want to develop a lasting relationship with a partner.
And of course, the more deal-breakers and boundaries you have, the less likely you are to find someone as fast as those who kind of just accept anyone into their life as long as they treat them relatively okay.
And here's a little piece of information that you may not have considered. It may be in dating apps and sites' best interest if you do not find the love of your life. While this does sound a bit sinister, from a business standpoint, it does make sense. If you found a long-term partner, you wouldn't use the site anymore, hopefully, and your partner wouldn't use this site either, hopefully.
That means in the pursuit of love, a couple succeeding together is a failure for the business as they no longer have those customers. So, don't expect the website or dating app to set you up with other people that fit well with you and your life. Plus, the company's algorithm may lead you towards more casual encounters if the demographic that you are in prioritizes such encounters.
Conclusion
To think of we as products in a sexual marketplace is dehumanizing and should not be encouraged. Ultimately, we are human beings searching for our life partners and developing and growing new relationships. So, we should not give up on love and romance. No matter what type of partner you're looking for, we must stick to our boundaries and continue searching through the many millions of people for the person that will bring us love and happiness for the rest of our mortal lives.
But it is important to understand the forces against us and address why we don't want to date people of a certain race. The more open a person is to love, the faster we will find it.