What is worth knowing when going to a Swingers Party?
Have you been invited to a swingers’ party? Are you and your partner staring at the invitation in surprise and disbelief? Are you two thinking about going? Well, if you want to go to a swingers’ party, then you must learn the proper etiquette. The etiquette of a swingers’ party puts an emphasis on privacy.
Many married couples are swingers and they don’t want anyone from their jobs, churches, organizations, or clubs to know. Don’t pull out your phone and start taking pictures of everyone to put on your Instagram account. Plus, the person who invited you to the swingers’ party should tell you about the rules before you get there.
Swinging can be fun and exciting, but only if you and your partner are on the same page. However, not any couple can swing and then return to their home at the end of the night. It takes a special couple who trust each other completely and respect each other’s boundaries to swing. So here’s what you should know when attending a swinger’s party.
The Guide to Attending Swingers Clubs
So you’re interested in joining a swingers’ club with your partner? Here are some rules and advice to learn before attending your first party.
How to know if you and your partner can swing
Swinging is not for everyone and you need to learn that now. Some people like the thought of swinging, but never want to engage in it in real life. Maybe one partner wants to swing, but the other does not. If this is the case, then you do not belong at a swingers’ party.
Do you want to swing, but you don’t want your partner to swing? Then you don’t belong at the swingers’ party either. If you have to coerce or strong arm your partner into allowing you to have sex outside of your relationship or marriage, then you two are not on equal footing and your relationship is probably doomed.
You don’t have to go all the way during your first swing session.
Taking part in a sexual encounter without your partner can be nerve-racking. You may feel you are cheating on them, even though you have their full permission. This is a common feeling most beginning swingers have.
If you are still hesitant about engaging in sexual acts with a new person, you don’t have to. It would be a good idea to explain to them why you’re hesitant.
Every swinger couple has dealt with nervousness, hesitation, and guilt for having sex with someone else that is not their partner.
Explain to your potential partner how you feel. If they don’t want to wait for you to have sex, they don’t have to. But you don’t have to force yourself to have sex with them.
Find someone who is okay with going slow. Start off with kissing and light petting and then work your way to oral, hand jobs, and other sexual activities later down the line.
How to meet swingers
Meeting swingers isn’t as difficult as it once was. Thanks to the internet, people can simply type in swingers’ clubs into Facebook or Google and find dozens of clubs within 100 miles of them.
Some require that you provide a small amount of information before you attend. Other swingers’ clubs want you to have a connection with the club; you’ll have to know somebody there. You won’t be able to get in just by asking.
This is how swingers’ clubs stay safe.
For example, if you’re part of a swingers club and you refer someone to the club but then they end up being a terrible person who does not respect other people’s boundaries, they will be booted out of the club and so will you and your partner.
You are the one that referred them to the party, so either you knew about their nature and didn’t care or you didn’t know them well enough and you’re not an expert judge of character.
Despite being a website inhabited by people that are mostly 40-year-olds and older, Facebook has a lot of open and secret swingers’ clubs. They may not go by the name of swinger since they do not want their patrons to be exposed by their families, but knowing the lingo is a good way to identify a swingers’ club.
Etiquette of a swingers' party
So today is the big day! You’re on your way to your first swingers’ party ever! I know you’re excited, I would be too! But before you walk through the door, you need to learn about the etiquette of a swingers’ party so you know what to expect and what to do and not to do.
Learn the rules of each swingers’ party or club
Every swingers’ party has a host, and every host has different rules. Most of the rules at every single party will be the same, with one or two exceptions based on the host.
Some swingers’ clubs and parties are more tailored towards people who want to find other couples who are like them and other swingers’ parties are for couples who want to have anonymous sex. So if you’re at a party that emphasizes anonymous sex, don’t expect to hang out with anyone after playing in the club for an hour.
Some swingers’ parties require you to know a password. The password can change after every meeting so they know that you’re active in the club and you’re keeping up with events and rules. If you don’t know the password, don’t expect to get in.
Certain swingers clubs only allowed married couples to join and other clubs allow unmarried couples and married couples to participate.
Curtail your expectations of service when at a house party
Obviously, there will be major differences between meeting swingers at a club or venue and meeting them at someone’s home. If you are a club in someone’s home, keep your hands to yourself, always greet the hosts properly and perhaps bring some flowers or chocolates or wine, and do not expect them to have a full bar or food on demand.
Learn who is partnered with who
Remember couples that swing together are still in love and active in their marriage. No one is looking for anyone to cheat with or to have a secret affair.
The whole point of joining a swingers’ club is so that couples can sexually experiment outside of their marriage while retaining the relationships with their spouses.
So, just like you would with a regular non-swinging couple, know the name of the person you’re interested in and the name of their partner.
If you show disregard for their partner, it will not find that as endearing or naughty. They won’t want to sleep with you.
Stay out of couples’ arguments
Taking a side in a couples argument is a bad idea no matter if you’re at a swingers’ club or at a daycare or at a family reunion.
Bring your own toys
If you want to play with a toy, then bring it to the swingers club. Don’t expect other people to share their toys with you and don’t expect the host or venue to provide toys. Some people dislike using other people’s choice as it could be seen as unhygienic and they don’t know the hiding practices of the person.
Never do these things at a swingers’ party
Now that you know the basic etiquette for being polite and positive guests at a swingers’ party, learn what you should never do while at its fingers party. Let me believe that you already know what to do and what not to do. Each club or party will have different rules, boundaries, and restrictions.
Do not come alone
Swingers parties are meant to be attended in pairs. If someone comes by themself, then there will be one person left out. Unless they join a threesome, they will have to wait until another single person arrives.
Don’t pull out your camera and start recording without permission
There’s some people in swingers’ parties and swingers’ clubs who do not want anyone outside of their social sexual circle to learn about their sexual activities. It could embarrass their entire family.
In fact, party hosts will ask you to turn off your cell phone so that nobody can take pictures or record video. However, there are some swingers’ parties that allow people to take pictures and record video, and you won’t find the people who need to be private swingers there at that type of party.
If you want to take a picture with someone, take a picture with them outside of the venue or the home and don’t have anyone else in the background of your photo. You don’t follow the privacy rules and Sooners clubs, you will either be booted from this swingers’ club or the host will take your cell phone away and get it back to you when you leave.
Don’t drink to get drunk
Whether you plan on having sex with your partner or another consenting adult, do not get drunk at a swingers’ party. One or two beers, one cocktail, or a glass of wine is fine, but that’s all.
You want to keep your wits about you and stay in a positive and sober frame of mind. When a person gets drunk, they are more likely to get angry when someone tells them no, or likely to violate other people’s boundaries, and ruin the mood for everyone else at the party.
Plus, drinking too much too quickly can cause you to vomit, and vomiting ruins the entire mood of the party. If you know you won’t be able to stop at two beers or one cocktail, then you shouldn’t drink it all.
When someone says no, stop immediately
In any sexual encounter, boundaries are important. If someone doesn’t want to participate in a certain sexual activity or perform a certain second act, then you have to respect their boundaries. The same goes for you as well.
If you don’t want to do something, a simple no should be enough for them to stop. If you try to convince the person to perform a sex act they don’t want to do, then you will probably be booted from the party.
Everyone at the swingers party must feel safe. If you are swinging sexual partner tells you no, then drop the request or find someone else who likes what you are into.
Establish go and stop words. If you’re in the middle of a sexual act and someone says the word pineapple and pineapple is their stop word, then you know to stop. For most people, no or stop is their main stop word.
However, some people might have no as one of their go words because they want to fulfill a struggle fantasy.
If you want to engage in this type of fantasy with your partner or another person, talk about the rules beforehand.
Even just a quick one minute check establishing boundaries and the proper words can make a sexual experience more invigorating, trustful, and fun.
If you have an STD or another catchable illness, wait till it clears up before you attend.
We can’t believe we have to say this in a world that is post-covid, but some people don’t learn. If you have an STD, a cold, a flu, or anything other contractible issue, don’t go to the swingers’ club until you are completely cured.
If the house finds out you are sick, you have covid, or you have an STD, you’ll be thrown out and it is highly likely you will be revoked and removed from the club.
Some swingers’ parties and clothes require people to undergo regular STD testing and if you do not produce those tests when they want you to, you won’t be allowed to attend.
Attending a swinger’s party isn’t that much different from any other social event. Just be respectful of everybody’s privacy, don’t go around taking pictures, practice good hygiene and bring your own toys. Respect other people’s boundaries and don’t become angry when they don’t want to take part in certain sexual activities.
People also need to respect your boundaries as well. Check in with your partner once in a while to see if any rules between you two need to change or if you two need to stop going to swingers events.