Biphobia takes place even in the LGBT community.

It is a shame that the LGBTQ community still has to face stigma and bigotry from a sizeable part of the non-queer population in this modern day. With every generation, the queer community is finding more and more allies and acceptance, but the fight for societal acceptance still rages on. But few realize that, even within the LGBTQ community, there is a lot of unspoken (and spoken) stigma, prejudice, and gatekeeping.

Every type of queer person has stigmas and prejudices that they have to fight was in the wrong community. Many are due to the ignorance promoted by modern society and other types of bigoted beliefs because of race. For example, many people within the LGBTQ community do not believe that bisexuality is a real sexuality. Bisexual people face a lot of social discrimination because of these bigoted beliefs.

The many issues bisexuals must face from both the queer and non-queer communities.

Bisexual men and women share a few stigmas around their sexuality, but they also face their own types of prejudice due to their genders. One of the biggest reasons bisexuals are not seen as a valid sexuality is the prejudiced idea that bisexuality is a choice. Many people in the LBGTQ and non-queer community believe that bisexual people are gay or lesbians, but they choose to hold on to their straight side.

The phrase "sexuality is a choice" mimics the excuses and rationalization of many heterosexuals and patriarchy-based societies at large, which have regarded nearly everybody in the LGBTQ community. For decades and, even now, they have said that homosexual and lesbian activities are a choice, and people who are queer choose to participate in their lifestyles.

This idea of 'choice' is one of the reasons why bisexuals are seen as truly straight if they date someone of their opposite gender. If both partners in a relationship are bisexual but of the same gender, they will be regarded as a lesbian couple or a gay couple, not a bisexual couple. If a bisexual woman and bisexual man enter a relationship, they will be regarded as a straight couple.

But a bisexual person dating their opposite gender does not invalidate their sexuality. They are, of course, attracted to both genders.

Not recognizing bisexuality as a real sexual identity is called identity invalidation. For thousands of years, everyone in the community was told by the heterosexual society is that their sexualities did not exist, that they were urges from the devil, that they had to pray the gay away, and that their romantic relationships with other people who were queer were a disgrace to the institution of marriage. It is hard to see the same thinking that once hurts so many LGBTQ people now being used by those same people to harm bisexual people.

These concepts rooted in biphobia make it hard for bisexual people to truly understand themselves and their sexuality. Since there is so much stigma against people in the LGBTQ+ community, many feel like they have to conform to what the community believes is the right way to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, and Trans. It is even harder for pansexuals, aces, demisexuals, and trans people who don't want to pursue bottom surgery to find a place.

In the acronym LGBTQ+, the Q stands for questioning. Someone who is unsure of their true sexuality and is questioning where they stand on the sexual spectrum falls under this category. It is supposed to be perfectly valid and acceptable in the LGBTQ+ community to question and experiment with your sexuality to understand who you are. Unfortunately, bisexual people are seen as permanently stuck in the questioning zone, and they don't want to take the leap into fully gay or fully lesbian.

Bisexual people keep their sexuality a secret.

People who are part of the LGBTQ+ community keep their true sexuality or gender a secret if they do not feel like they are in a safe environment to express themselves. When they're finally in a safe environment, they can open themselves up and allow trusted people to get to know them for who they truly are.

You would think that in a queer community, bisexual people would be able to freely tell anyone they meet that they are bisexual. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Since bisexual people are judged so harshly by both the heterosexual and the queer community, they are likely to keep their sexuality to themselves.

The only truly safe place for bisexuals to get it together and bond is over the internet. There are many places online where bisexual people can exchange stories with one another, give each other support, and create inside jokes that they can share with each other. Well moderated online spaces are also a great way for older bisexual people to help younger bisexual people work through their depression, help improve the negative outlook they have on their lives and give them the resources to seek help.

More likely to cheat?

Numerous terrible ideas around bisexuality must be rooted out. For example, suppose a bisexual woman starts to date a heterosexual man after dating a woman. In that case, people will say that she was only experimenting with her last romantic entanglement, and she is straight. But bisexual women are attracted to both men and women, so it does not change their sexuality or make them less queer.

What does not help bisexual women are straight women who say that they are only bisexual when they are drunk. Alcohol is not a sexuality.

Another toxic idea is that bisexual people are seen as promiscuous. People who are gay, lesbian, or heterosexual often state online that they would not date a bisexual person because they are known to cheat. But this simply isn't true.

Bisexual people are just any other demographic; some want long-term relationships with a single partner they are dedicated to, while others want to be free and unattached. If a bisexual person cheats on their partner, it has nothing to do with their sexuality and everything to do with their morals.

Online dating as a bisexual person is a nightmare.

Online dating is terrible for bisexual people as well as everyone else. Because of the idea that bisexual people are more likely to cheat on their partner because of their "promiscuity," many online will reject the advances of a bisexual person once they reveal their sexuality. The gender that experiences this type of rejection most often is men. Bisexual men are not seen as men to many who have biphobic women, so straight women will reject them because they want to be with a "real man."

If they were to message a gay man, the gay man would often think that they are just promiscuous or don't want to commit to being gay fully.

When it comes to bisexual women and online dating, straight men will initially be ok with their sexuality. But their ease comes at a price. When the topic of sex comes up, the same straight men expect bisexual women to want, even crave threesomes. Bisexual women are not seen as relationship material. Instead, they are regarded as party girls as they are only bisexual when they are drunk.

If a lesbian messages a bisexual woman messages or, they are expected to be lesbian themselves. There are countless online stories of lesbians who thought the bisexual woman they were dating was also a lesbian. They are met with hostility and rage from their once happy lesbian partner when they are revealed not to be lesbian, but actually bisexual.

Bisexual people have to wade through pages and pages of biphobic people to find sexual and romantic partners who accept them for who they are.

Domestic violence and bisexuals

Domestic violence affects people from all walks of life. It doesn't matter if you're rich, middle class, poor, a man, a woman, a nonbinary person, or gay, straight, or bisexual. Domestic abuse can happen in any type of relationship. So it is important to know what types of people are most commonly part of abusive relationships and how we can help them. Bisexual women in relationships with a female or male partner are more likely to be in an abusive relationship than any other demographic.

According to the CDC, 44% of lesbian women experience domestic violence throughout their lives vs. 35% of heterosexual women. And this number grows exponentially if the person is bisexual. 61% of all bisexual women will experience some form of domestic abuse or violence. Unfortunately, domestic abuse is only the beginning of increased amount of violence that bisexual men have to experience. Bisexual men or more likely to be assaulted in school and college.

But why are bisexual women more likely than bisexual men, heterosexual women, and lesbians to be a part of a sex-based crime?

One reason is because of the way society views their sexuality. As we previously mentioned, bisexual men and women are seen as far more promiscuous, sexually adventurous, and easy to have sex with. Because of these myths and bigoted beliefs, they are targeted by predators at a higher rate.

The mental toll of biphobia

Bisexual people find it hard to be accepted by heterosexual society, so they seek acceptance and congress in the queer community. But as we now know, the queer community does not accept them completely. Being told all your life that you don't belong in regular society and only belong in the queer community only to finally be in the queer community and be rejected can be devastating to the mental health of bisexual people.

According to hrc.org, 39% of all bisexual men do not tell their doctors that they are bisexual, and 32% of bisexual women do the same thing. They are afraid that their primary care provider will discriminate against them. Only 13% of gay men and 10% of lesbians don't tell their doctor about their sexuality. The worst a bisexual person having treated because of their sexuality, the less likely they are to tell other people about their sexuality and seek out resources that could help them with their health, education, and life.

Several studies have confirmed that bisexual people have much higher rates of anxiety and depression compared to the general population. Many young bisexuals also feel unsafe in their own homes and don't have a place to express themselves genuinely.

A Study in 2019 revealed people who identify as bisexuals have much higher rates of sadness and hopelessness and are more likely to think of suicide and think of suicide more often than people who identify as heterosexuals or as gay men or lesbians.

Many people of color are bisexual, and given the negative treatment of minorities in the United States, racism combined with sexuality invalidation can amplify mental health issues. More than 40% of all people of color who are in the lgbtq+ community are bisexual. Not only are these people facing racism in their lives, they know that they cannot turn to the queer community to help that because they discriminate against them as well. There's nowhere for bisexual black, Hispanic, Asian, and Indigenous people to turn to.

And poor mental health impacts bisexual people's income, as they will not be able to seek out avenues for a good education or start a career for themselves. Bisexual people are more likely to be poor than heterosexuals and gay people. Severe anxiety and depression, and social rejection all play a factor in bisexual people's ability to make money.

Conclusion

Not being fully accepted by most of your community hurts, and the attitudes and beliefs that many gays, lesbians, and heterosexuals hold against bisexual people need to end. They deserve to be a part of the queer community without gatekeeping or prejudice. Men and women who are bisexual have it hard in the current straight and LGBTQ+ communities. Hopefully, in the future, as more and more bisexual people feel safe to come out, they find acceptance within both the Bi and LGBTQ+ community and their society.